today is yunn cheng's birthday.
i'm sure they'll be having a good fun celebration somewhere. but it's okay. they don't invite me.
actually, noone invites me for anything anymore, except kelvin, anthony and co. la...
not the Cina gang, not the english speaking gang, not the CF gang, not the Indian gang.... or whatever gang la.
not for movies, not for gym, not for lunch, not for anything la. i bet "eh! we forgot to ask minghui if he wants to come lah!" is the last thing on everybody's mind.
well, except for the jamming gang la. and even
within the jamming gang, seng is half Cina, so he won't let me in on anything that's going on anyway.
but actually, that's fine by me. haha. i've made my peace with it already. i don't give a flying fuck anymore. besides, you all
chiang hwa yi here and
chiang hwa yi there, bugs the HELL OUTTA ME. i think i wouldn't get invited to my
own birthday dinner either.
haha. luckilly there's still volleyball and basketball.
perhaps i've turned them down too many times. haha... i'm lazy, that's why.
all you assholes only think of me when you need transport. to sri petaling larh, to mid valley larh, to
wherever lah.
so from now on, tell you what. since the price of fuel has increased, don't invite me for anything. the answer is an automatic
NO.
especially if people tell me, "erh, sorry ah ming, can you please confirm if you are coming? like ASAP? coz we need to settle the
transport issues...." or "we may not have enough cars la..." and there's always the "how many people can you fit in your car?"
you all
suddenly so friendly! wah! ah, the warm rays of friendship! hahaha...
go fly kite la you all.
it's nice being alone sometimes. you don't have to fake a smile. YOU CAN FART IF YOU WANT TO. you don't have to come up with mundane conversation starters ("wah! nowadays arh! rain everyday sia!"), you don't have to spend too much money. YOU CAN WANK. you can play guitar till the dogs behind your house go into barking fits. you won't have people call you chubby. you can watch ALL the geeky documentaries in national geographic you want. you can avoid watching this dumb sport where 22 guys on a green field go kicking a ball (and each other). you may even study! you can lie on your bed and read til daybreak. you can play project gotham racing 4 and grand theft auto 4 and screw your GTA4 girlfriend till she bleeds.
it's okay. i'm not even angry. haha. really man. i'll still smile at you. i'll still say hi. but for whatever it's worth, don't count me in larh. i'm just to lazy. it's nice if you think of me once in a while, but hey (shrugs shoulders) i'm not begging. if anyone reads this and feels sorry for me, don't. don't let your egoes convince you that my happiness and my sense of fulfillment hinges upon so little. i'm just stating a fact. throw that flash of momentary guilt out of the window.
i was reading melvyn's blog. i know exactly how he feels, just that perhaps my humour gets to more people than his one does. maybe. but it's really alright to be alone. sure, friends are great. they help you along, you help them along, you laugh and tell jokes, but really, you don't need to be accepted by people or be close to them. look where it got me. i'm sitting here at home doing some personal reflection (albeit doing it online) thinking of what dinner i should get myself (hmm... instant me? char kuay teow? or roti telur bawang?)
anyway, to all those celebrating a birthday, or celebrating somebody else's birthday have a good one! i mean, sincerely, you have my well wishes however old you are, and whoever your friends may be. why not? i don't hate you. i just care less... i've got me myself and i, and life is just peachy!
