Moving Ahead

Moving Ahead

here's a piece of advice. when moving ahead with your life, dont' forget to look behind (or around) you. things fall apart in the most f***ed-up way it can.

by that previous statement, i mean your family, your friends and your loved ones, or just simply everything around you that you pushed to the sidelines in your pursuit for advancement in those selected few aspects of your life. think of it like the attribute distribution diagram you see in Winning Eleven. have you seen it? if you haven't then, erh, nevermind. i feel that you stretch yourself in one direction, by law of conservation of mass, you shrink away from another (or from other) directions.

i've already sorted out what i wanna do after my A-Levels. i know, i know, i'm very distracted, but anyway, i have cemented my resolve. (funny expression. hahaha...)

1. i want to know my dad better.
dad, if you're reading this, firstly, you sleazy bastard...hahaha...how d'ya find me? secondly, i want to know you better. i want to know why you seek to fill your life with doodads (read robert kiyosaki) like a girlfriend, golfing and just everything but us? i'm really grateful for what you've given me dad, your support, the occasional pat in the back and your money, but all the money in the world and all the wonderful things you can promise us isn't going to make up for the time you spend away, skirt-chasing, dad. nothing beats time together. that's solid gold, and you know that too, don't you. i don't want to be someone hanging around you when you make visits to the golf club or do your things at kiwanis, i want to hang out with you at some coffee shop, where you can smoke your disgusting ciggarettes, and we can just talk. you think we're expensive, dad? think again. but then again, maybe we are. that's if time with us is really hard to fork out.

2. i want to know my brother
there's this gnawing realisation that my brother is growing further and further away from me. how this hurts. this guy that i used to play games with, used to like to joke around, seems to be growing up at such a fast rate i hardly know who you are now, dear brother. is this how a parent feels when their child grows up (up, up and awwaaaay...) yes, grow up and grow apart too. please, you've got that damn phone attached to your computer. pick it up and dial. i miss you. i really do.

3. i want to thank my mum
i just don't know how to begin. she once said, "parents will love their child more than anything in the world, but their children will never love them as much as they(the children) will love their future spouse and children." oh, mum, your wisdom. how i wish you hadn't said that. i wish i had grown up sooner and learnt the pains of care and love. i'm proud of you mum, i am. ever since you kicked dad out, battled tumours and broke up with your man just 'coz he and i didn't get along well. thank you mum. sincerely. though i never say i, i don't forget these kinda things.


well, i guess, that's all for now. knowing how my blog looks like, this will look like a bloody long post, but who gives half a shit!? my bloggie, my problem lah.

go visit my other one! =P